Ahhh the questions every girl and boy asks themself when they have a crush. They start to feel like they're not good enough, like they need to change who they are in order for the person they're trying to impress to notice.
In my 24 (almost 25, gosh I'm old) years of life; I have had my fair share of crushes and they remained crushes because guys would reject me left & right. I would start to ask myself, what was wrong with me. I began to think I wasn't good enough.
I remember a time when I was in 7/8 grade that the student council would sell stuff on valentine's day or sweetest day and every girl in my class got something (a crappy carnations or a bag of candy). It's not a nice feeling seeing all the girls at their desk flaunting their $1 carnation or their little $1 bag of candy. Then you turn to your desk and see that it's empty.
As I mentioned before, I thought that I had to change my attitude for a guy to like me. I began to take notice in the other girls behavior and thought if I copied it I would be popular and boys would like me. You know, monkey see monkey do. I noticed they all changed their behavior and their taste in stuff in order to accommodate the guys interests. So that's exactly what I did.
I remember a time when I was in 7/8 grade that the student council would sell stuff on valentine's day or sweetest day and every girl in my class got something (a crappy carnations or a bag of candy). It's not a nice feeling seeing all the girls at their desk flaunting their $1 carnation or their little $1 bag of candy. Then you turn to your desk and see that it's empty.
As I mentioned before, I thought that I had to change my attitude for a guy to like me. I began to take notice in the other girls behavior and thought if I copied it I would be popular and boys would like me. You know, monkey see monkey do. I noticed they all changed their behavior and their taste in stuff in order to accommodate the guys interests. So that's exactly what I did.
Back in 7/8 grade I had a crush that was very athletic. He was the one who the gym teacher would always pick to be captain every time we would play a sport. You know the kind of guy who would absolutely crush it in every single sport. So, one day my gym teacher thought it would be a good idea to play coed soccer. He picked 2 captains (a guy & a girl) and they started picking who they wanted to be on their team. Each team captain would have to pick a boy and a girl for their team. They would pick until there wasn't any more players.
I started praying "Oh dear God, please let me be on my crushes team." Then my crush pointed at me. I almost screamed out of pure joy that he actually picked me! (Well, he picked me last but that doesn't matter what mattered to me at the time was that I was on my crushes team.) I tried to impress him by running really fast (I know I'm just as shocked as you are... me running?? Like what??) to take the ball away from people.
One day I heard him talking to one of his friends about a girl. I listened so closely because you know if you here your crush talking about a girl they like you listen close just in case the girl he likes is you. I regret listening to that conversation because I got my heart broken when I found out he liked another girl who was the total opposite of what I was. She was popular, pretty, didn't have glasses and guess what? She had big boobs -_- *sigh*.
I started praying "Oh dear God, please let me be on my crushes team." Then my crush pointed at me. I almost screamed out of pure joy that he actually picked me! (Well, he picked me last but that doesn't matter what mattered to me at the time was that I was on my crushes team.) I tried to impress him by running really fast (I know I'm just as shocked as you are... me running?? Like what??) to take the ball away from people.
One day I heard him talking to one of his friends about a girl. I listened so closely because you know if you here your crush talking about a girl they like you listen close just in case the girl he likes is you. I regret listening to that conversation because I got my heart broken when I found out he liked another girl who was the total opposite of what I was. She was popular, pretty, didn't have glasses and guess what? She had big boobs -_- *sigh*.
When I entered high school was when the "why doesn't he like me?" question seemed to be getting worse. I would begin to think to myself "What the actual fuck is wrong with me?" "Am I ugly?" "Am I going to be alone forever??
There was a time in my high school experience where I really liked this guy. He was a rocker type and of course like every girl does I talked about my crush to my friends. Little did I know, one of my friends would actually go and date him. Well, let me tell you the details before I just drop that kind of news on you.
My friend was having a birthday party. She texted me to confirm if I was going. I said "wouldn't miss it." Then I said if she could invite the guy I liked because you know. She texted me saying "Stop talking about him. He doesn't like you. I know the girl she likes and it's not you. Get over it." The next day, her birthday, she texts me saying if I could go early to her house because she invited, let's call the guy Bruno. Bruno was outside her house and she wasn't there so she wanted me to keep him company until she got there.
As a nice friend I arrived there early and sure enough Bruno was there. I started talking to Bruno about how it was going to be my first time ice skating (my friend wanted to go ice skating) and how I was scared I was going to fall. My friend arrived a few minutes later and we all went inside her house. She later informed me that we weren't going ice skating because her sisters friend didn't want to go. So instead we went to the movies. At the movies we saw A christmas carol. Everything was going great up until we decided to go to see The Princess and the Frog. My friend and Bruno were cuddling and acting like boyfriend and girlfriend and my little heart sank.
I swear you could actually hear it breaking if you listened close enough. My friend was cuddling with Bruno and her sister was with her friend and I was all alone. I couldn't take it anymore and I texted my friend saying How I was going to go next door and see Twilight instead because this movie wasn't good. She was like are you sure and I said yes. I got up and never looked back. Best decision I've ever made.
This other moment I'm going to write about involves a guy rejecting me because I was too girly. Yes, you read that right, because I was too girly. So, my friend and I were walking to our lockers when I saw a cute boy. I told my friend, you know as you usually do when you see a cute boy. She was like "I know that guy he's in my class, I'll go talk to him" I was like "No no please don't" but it was too late she went and told the guy I thought he was cute. When my friend came back see told me the guy had also seen me around, but didn't like me back because he thought I was too girly.
I know, every time I look back I'm like "What the hell?"
There was a time in my high school experience where I really liked this guy. He was a rocker type and of course like every girl does I talked about my crush to my friends. Little did I know, one of my friends would actually go and date him. Well, let me tell you the details before I just drop that kind of news on you.
My friend was having a birthday party. She texted me to confirm if I was going. I said "wouldn't miss it." Then I said if she could invite the guy I liked because you know. She texted me saying "Stop talking about him. He doesn't like you. I know the girl she likes and it's not you. Get over it." The next day, her birthday, she texts me saying if I could go early to her house because she invited, let's call the guy Bruno. Bruno was outside her house and she wasn't there so she wanted me to keep him company until she got there.
As a nice friend I arrived there early and sure enough Bruno was there. I started talking to Bruno about how it was going to be my first time ice skating (my friend wanted to go ice skating) and how I was scared I was going to fall. My friend arrived a few minutes later and we all went inside her house. She later informed me that we weren't going ice skating because her sisters friend didn't want to go. So instead we went to the movies. At the movies we saw A christmas carol. Everything was going great up until we decided to go to see The Princess and the Frog. My friend and Bruno were cuddling and acting like boyfriend and girlfriend and my little heart sank.
I swear you could actually hear it breaking if you listened close enough. My friend was cuddling with Bruno and her sister was with her friend and I was all alone. I couldn't take it anymore and I texted my friend saying How I was going to go next door and see Twilight instead because this movie wasn't good. She was like are you sure and I said yes. I got up and never looked back. Best decision I've ever made.
This other moment I'm going to write about involves a guy rejecting me because I was too girly. Yes, you read that right, because I was too girly. So, my friend and I were walking to our lockers when I saw a cute boy. I told my friend, you know as you usually do when you see a cute boy. She was like "I know that guy he's in my class, I'll go talk to him" I was like "No no please don't" but it was too late she went and told the guy I thought he was cute. When my friend came back see told me the guy had also seen me around, but didn't like me back because he thought I was too girly.
I know, every time I look back I'm like "What the hell?"
Despite the ups & downs, it has taken me 24 years to FINALLY understand that you don't need to change in order for someone to like you. Changing yourself in order to make someone else happy (or for them to like you) makes you lose sense of who you really are.
I also learned that guys have different taste in girls and just because one guy doesn't like you doesn't mean the world is over or that you have to change.
If a boy doesn't like you WHO CARES! Repeat after me... who... cares...
There will come a day when someone comes into your life & will love you! I know right now it seems that your world is crashing down because your crush rejected you, but trust me it's not the end of the world and there is absolutely NO reason you should think that there is something wrong with you because someone doesn't like you. The hell with them, you're amazing... you're beautiful & you make the world a better place with just being you. ♡♡
There will come a day when someone comes into your life & will love you! I know right now it seems that your world is crashing down because your crush rejected you, but trust me it's not the end of the world and there is absolutely NO reason you should think that there is something wrong with you because someone doesn't like you. The hell with them, you're amazing... you're beautiful & you make the world a better place with just being you. ♡♡
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I like the last 2 paragraph that you wrote. You can say that I, somewhat in that state right now. Asking why the person I like doesnt like me
ReplyDeletethere will be someone out there for you. You just got to be patient. Good things come to those that wait :)
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