Letters to Cookie

Dear Cookie, 

It's been exactly 1 month since you passed away. I've been missing you every single day since. I remember the first day you came home. That day was the happiest day of my life. My friend texts me that day and tells me if I could come pick you up. I couldn't wait for my dad to come home from work so he could drive me to my friends house. When we got to my friends house it was dark out and it was raining that day. I had trouble finding my friends house with all the rain

After a few more minutes of searching I start walking back to the car a little sad because I couldn't find the house. That's when my dad yells out to me "hey Jessica is that your friend?" So I turn around and sure enough I see my friend standing under a street lamp with you in her arms. I quickly sprinted to her and my friend says "here she is" she handed me the smallest brown dog I've ever seen. 

I held you close and you smelled like strawberries. You gave me a kiss on the cheek and that's when I knew you and I were going to be best friends forever. My friend said "aww she likes you". I thanked my friend like a million times because she fufilled my dream of owning a dog. I headed to the car with you in my arms and my brothers and dad quickly fell in love with you. You also quickly won over my mom's heart when she came back from taking care of her sick dad in Mexico. 

So you would imagine how much we cried when you passed away. I still remember that day, they told me you had to stay to be checked on over night and of course I said ok because like I told you before “we take you to the doctors because we want you to be healthy”. We left and then that’s when I received the phone call. They told me that your heart had stopped but they were able to bring you back for a while but if it happened again you weren’t going to make it. When I got off the phone with the vet I bawled my eyes out and said “WHY DOES GOD WANT TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME”. My dad told me what happened and between my stream of tears I had to tell him that your heart had stopped. He suggested that I call my mom so she could tell my brothers. 

When my dad and I got home everyone in my house was crying. Just a few minutes later I get another call and I see who it was. That’s when my heart dropped and the words “if her heart stops again she isn’t going to make it” I answered the phone and that’s when they told me that your heart stopped and you sadly had passed away. My family saw me crying harder and they asked me what was happening. That’s when I told them that you passed away. I asked the vet if they did everything they could to bring you back and they said yes but you didn’t respond. 

That night even the strongest person was shedding tears for you. I couldn’t sleep and was crying all night. Even right now as I’m writing this to you my eyes are getting really teary remembering what happened. Everyone is telling me to get a new dog and I get mad because they don’t understand how I feel… I can’t get a new dog because I feel my heart isn’t ready to love another dog as much I loved you. 

Thank you Cookie for all the laughs, for all the kisses and hugs you gave us during the years and for all the snuggles when you and I went to bed. Thank you so much for licking my tears when I was crying to you. Thank you for listening to me vent to you. We all still miss you so much. I miss your bark so much. The house seems so lonely without you :(  I wish I could pet you, kiss you and feed you your favorite treats one last time but sadly I can’t so I hope you are getting unlimited treats and all the chicken you can eat up in heaven. I miss you my little gordita viejita, come visit me anytime you want <3